Well I guess this is growing up

1/18/06 02:43 pm

I made a new Journal
shescrazysee04
im sick of this one
Add me as a friend.

1/16/06 01:25 pm - when your down on the floor bleeding

Warning this entries going to be very random and out of the head of me.
A tredmill fell on my head last night and gave me a concussions
haha, yes a tredmill.
I am in absolutle love with Coheed and Cambria... seriously, I swear to god they get better everytime I listen to them.
Im going to attempt to talk Steve into going with me and Mark to taste of chaos ATREYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now if only he was ever home.
Finals are coming up, fuck finals.
The whole Scott situation is over, for now, probally for good.
the timing was horrible.
When I turn 17 in june and am finally "allowed" to see him, he leaves less than a week later for PA for a month and a half.
Its sad, cuz he was really pretty.
Ah well, im pretty sure hes moved on with someone else i work with
wahoo excitement.
Ive started talking to scotts brother Eric on line, we have the absolute strangest conversations on earth I swear to god, and they all revolve around sex and hicks and sometimes martians.
I hope Kyles going to give up soon, because like i said in my last entry.. i dont want a boyfriend right now, whoever I went out with i'd fuck it up with. THe sad thing is im sure as soon as he stops liking me, im going to want him.
My dad has doctor appoints 4 of 5 times a week now. He comes home in so much pain, and hes having trouble sleeping lately. Im scared...
I have a soccer game at 4, its kind of exciting.

Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much, you won't find anything...
Worthy of redeeming

Yo he esta-do agui muchas veces antes y regreso

To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away

Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy
So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully
Now watch as it destroys me

1/14/06 08:42 am - good eye sniper

Ive decided I dont want a boyfriend right now, and for that reason I think I should quit Farmer Jacks. I dont want to keep hurting Kyle, he makes me feel like the biggest asshole on earth. I dont want to get hurt by Scott. If I had a boyfriend he would have to go through too much shit with me, and I'm sure I'd make his life misreble. Im too unstable for anything.. let alone having another person let into my world.

Im sorry if you think i've been ignoring you because in all honesty I probally have. I hate being a burden on people, and my problems have taken over my life and I dont want to put them on anyone else but myself. IT makes life too uncomfortable. I'd rather just crawl into hole and die.

Im angry, Im bitter, I bitch way too much, and this is all way to fucking much for me to deal with.

Someone save me,
Im going straight to hell.

1/9/06 06:52 pm

Im really beginning to wish that it was still the summer
before I went on this destructive path to hell.
Has your mom ever punched you in the face, bit you so hard that there was visible bitemarks 3 days later, and left bruises on your arms?
Mine Has.
I need to get out of this house
I tried today, my dad wont let me.
I cant leave him alone with her while hes trying to deal with a terminal illness.

my life fucking sucks
and IM jealous of everyone of you.

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

1/7/06 06:56 pm

i dont want to be here anymore

1/5/06 09:54 pm

Trust me
There's no need to fear
Everyone's here
waiting for you to finally be one of us

Come down
You may be full of fear
But you'll be safe here
When you finally trust me
Finally belive in me

I will let you down
I'll let you down
When you finally trust me
Finally believe in me

Trust me
I'll be there when you need me
You'll be safe here
And when you finally trust me
Finally believe in me

I will let you down
I'll let you down
When you finally trust me
Finally believe in me

I am such a bitch, I hurt just about the nicest kid on earth.

tommorrow should be fun though...

1/3/06 09:01 pm - fuck yo couch niggah

Life has been incredibly hectic lately,
hectic but fun.
Im not talking to my mom, my life seems to be better that way.
IM very confused on the boy situation in my life.
I dont want to drag this out much longer cuz I could be losing another wonderful person in the process
wow do I sound like a bitch

New years was pretty funnn mark and brittani came over, i got a bit tipsy while the rest of my family got trashed.
I went to see Wolf Creek with Kyle, Mark, & Brittani. IT was quite possibly the worst movie ive ever seen but I had alotta fun anyways.
Went shopping with Melissa to find my mom a b-day present, that is rather hard to do when u dont like the women.
Went to Chillis with Jess and had some excellant nachos.
Yesterday I went up to FJ's and met kyle & brittani and than we all went over to Marks house for a bit, than to taco bell, & cvs.
Today I hung out with Scott, his friend Corey has the most comfortable bed on earth.

Andreas going on a diet, I dont wanna be fat.
Im gonna ask Jess G. to dye my hair tommorrow
Sundays my first indoor soccer game. Its at 7 a.m. in Wixom and than i get to go to work! wahooooo

I miss Merritt

12/30/05 01:18 pm

my dad got his test results back today
they told him he had cancer over the phone
and than hung up.

12/30/05 12:01 am

Andrea got Mark a new girlfriend
mark owes Andrea for life.

Today ='s good day.

I'd say im ungrounded.

12/29/05 12:20 pm

im becoming a very good liar.
and im not feeling very sorry about it.
Yesterday i went into work a 1/2 hour early
and Scott took me to the bank haha
Than i worked till 8:30 (my dad thought that I worked till 10)
and Mark came up to FJ's and we went and sat in taco bell for like an hour
mmm mmm good cinnamon twists.
I missed him :-(
than we came back to FJ's (I KNOW IM A FAG) and made fun of Tom for 10 minutes and left.

Today I get to work from 3-9:30 whoopee fucking doo.
But Scott said he'd come hang out on my lunch
and you people should come visit me too.

Im going to try and get out of being grounded tommorrow
Someone come hang out with me.

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